Me and Cinderella!

Like Cinderella and her glass slipper, my shiny porcelain tooth magically slipped over the titanium post in a perfect fit. Also, like Cinderella, the transformation was instantaneous and involved several mice.

The mice part isn't entirely accurate, but my friend did see a mouse dart under the door of a closet at church. The closet had candy bars haphazardly thrown upon the shelves, outside of the protective plastic bins provided for anti-mice warfare. Oh, if only I could have fit under the door of that closet...

But I digress. Back to the tooth at hand. You are probably sitting on the edge of your seat wondering if the closet door at the church is locked. No, wait, I mean—you probably want to know what superpower I received.

Unfortunately, my new power—like all superpowers—comes with restrictions. I cannot reveal the power to the general public! I'm supposed to keep it secret even from those closest to me, which, at this moment, are the dentist and his trusty assistant. I'm probably not supposed to tell my husband either.

Suffice it to say, you'll just have to observe me serving the collective good of the populace at large. I will tell you this much: Where there is injustice, oppression, or an unlocked closet full of chocolate, I'll be there!

The Coming Year

I had so hoped to spend the final days of 2008 with a superpower (and I don't mean Russia). I had an appointment yesterday to get my new permanent tooth, but apparently there are slackers working the fiery forges at the secret tooth laboratory, and they are good at slacking.

I still possess the temp composite wrapped around the titanium post, but I now believe the superpower resides in the actual crown itself.

Then again, maybe I am obsessed with something that exists only in my mind (along with the multitude of voices). Perhaps the really good superpowers take longer to forge.

2009 is almost here. The year of the superpower. The year after 2008. The year of employment (I hope). The year before 2010. The year of 365.25 days. The year of the Ox (starting 1/26). The year I blog more. The year of 2 book releases. The year of the shiny new tooth.

As my 3-year old granddaughter would say "That's hilarious, Gran."

All I Want for Christmas is My New Front Tooth!

Monday started out as a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day and ended much the same way when one of my front teeth BROKE off at the roots! It was a 15-year old crown that covered the stump-end of a root-canaled tooth so in the world of dentists and pain it was not a surprise departure.

In my world--it was trauma at level 10 (level 1 being a normal day, level 4 being without diet Coke and chocolate, etc.) I cried and laughed at the same time. My 17-year old daughter said, "You know you're a redneck when your teeth fall out at dinner." I had just commented on how tender the chicken was...I guess it wasn't tender enough!

Knowing that humor eventually prevails in my world, I took a self-portrait of my hillbilly state. (Caution: Disturbing image, proceed at your own risk.) My oldest daughter begged me to send it to her and I made her promise that it would not end up on her blog. She told me I should blog about it. I found I could not prounounce "f" words with my missing tooth. (I meant "Ferran", what did you think I meant?)

I went to the dentist the very next day and Dr. Vargo worked magic (he also performed some dental work). I entered his office a toothless old hag and exited 2 1/2 hours later an old hag.

Like a rapper with a shiny new tooth, I couldn't stop smiling!

So, for the price of less than a C-section and more than one of my sister-in-law's purebred puppies, I am the owner of a temporary tooth. The price includes a titanium post, a pretty porcelain crown crafted in the fires of the forge of a secret laboratory--and, I'm almost certain, will come with a SUPERPOWER!

I can't wait to find out what superpower I get!