25 things about me

My MIL Susan said I need to update my blog.
I have been running short on time, this January has been brutal on the work front. January is almost over (just a few hours more) so I need to blog.
I took the time to respond to the tag "25 Things About Me" on Facebook.

I liked what I wrote and want to share:

1. I didn't have "notes" under tabs in my profile page, I had to add it, which confused the instructions a little bit for me. (Note to self: Go grab a Diet Coke)

2. I have SIX children and they are ALL wonderful except for FIVE of them!

3. Just kidding on #2. Today at least TWO are wonderful.

4. I love the burn of Diet Coke as it eats through the throat mucous and protective lining of my stomach that protects it from eating itself, but it is all good because the Diet Coke also eats the stomach acid.

5. I graduated with my BS in Accounting in December--cum laude

6. If I graduated just in BS, it would have been summa cum laude

7. My siblings and I are named: Gary, Sherry, Carrie, Terri, Barry, & Jerry. Our mom's name was Mary. Sherry married Harry.

8. I mistakenly exited through the emergency exit in a university library once and got chased by an angry librarian who was convinced I'd stolen something.

9. It would be silly to steal from a library when I have my own library card.

10. I owe approximately $5.65 in library fines.

11. The fines are because I let my children use my library card and they lost the books.

12. I lost a library book once and had to pay for it. I was sure the library lady had made a mistake and paid the fine under protest. Then I found it six months later in the side of my suitcase that I'd taken to Cancun.

13. I love Cancun!

14. I love books!

15. I love Diet Coke, books and Cancun--especially when they co-exist in my world at the very same moment. When a cabana boy is present to fetch said Diet Coke--let's just say it's a little piece of heaven on earth.

16. I am a CPA. My human-like troll side is in control now because I have to work as a CPA doing audits and I really want my creative brain to take over, but clients really frown on audit reports that state "We have found the management to be greedy task-masters that oppress the common people and are cheapskates who pay for their trips to the SuperBowl with company money and claim the little sticker on their Mercedes that says "I brake for underlings" makes it a company write-off but otherwise the financial statements seem to be materially free of misstatements..."

17. I love to write

18. I love getting paid to write

19. I love making people laugh--even if it is AT me.

20. I have two darling granddaughters (which are the reward for me being a parent all those years)

21. I have fibromyalgia. I keep it in a little compartment that I carry with me always. Unfortunately it keeps escaping and wreaking havoc throughout my body. Owwww, it hurts.

22. I do not like pets. My children have signed a "no pets" contract. (I would make exception for cabana boys from Cancun bearing Diet Coke--as pets, that is)

23. I am married to my husband (and he, to me)

24. My book "Having Hope" is being released in February, and my book "Alphabet Soup: A Crock of Wit from A to Z" is being released in August.

25. My Diet Coke is gone--time to sign off!

Of Mice and Teeth

I've had a request to add photos to yesterday's blog. I was just going to edit the blog, yet I thought this might be a little more fun for me. But first, a word from our sponsor, Dr. Bill:

(blog owner's note: Dr. Bill does not officially sponsor my blog, nor even read it. As a matter of fact, when I told him I was blogging about the tooth episode, his response was "Why?" followed with "Who's going to read it?" Don't worry, he doesn't know how to text either. So why would I consider Dr. Bill my sponsor? Simply put--he has placed numerous crowns in my head, the latest of which has given me the superpower of which I cannot speak too openly)

So Dr. Bill here is a little ad I wrote for you that may help you break into the gangsta market:


If you want a grill,
Call Dr. Bill
If your need is bling,
Give him a ring!

(In an actual ad I would list his number, but I don't really have his permission. Not that he would ever know, because he doesn't read blogs. But when the gansta population suddenly started calling him and clogging his phone lines, he could be concerned).

Now the photos from yesterdays blog:



My new smile!








The door where the mice disappeared (ok, it isn' the actual door, which is brown and at my church, not my house--but in an effort to make it more realistic, I DID put chocolate in the closet before I took the picture).



Empty energy cartridge







Reserve energy cartidges

Me and Cinderella!

Like Cinderella and her glass slipper, my shiny porcelain tooth magically slipped over the titanium post in a perfect fit. Also, like Cinderella, the transformation was instantaneous and involved several mice.

The mice part isn't entirely accurate, but my friend did see a mouse dart under the door of a closet at church. The closet had candy bars haphazardly thrown upon the shelves, outside of the protective plastic bins provided for anti-mice warfare. Oh, if only I could have fit under the door of that closet...

But I digress. Back to the tooth at hand. You are probably sitting on the edge of your seat wondering if the closet door at the church is locked. No, wait, I mean—you probably want to know what superpower I received.

Unfortunately, my new power—like all superpowers—comes with restrictions. I cannot reveal the power to the general public! I'm supposed to keep it secret even from those closest to me, which, at this moment, are the dentist and his trusty assistant. I'm probably not supposed to tell my husband either.

Suffice it to say, you'll just have to observe me serving the collective good of the populace at large. I will tell you this much: Where there is injustice, oppression, or an unlocked closet full of chocolate, I'll be there!

The Coming Year

I had so hoped to spend the final days of 2008 with a superpower (and I don't mean Russia). I had an appointment yesterday to get my new permanent tooth, but apparently there are slackers working the fiery forges at the secret tooth laboratory, and they are good at slacking.

I still possess the temp composite wrapped around the titanium post, but I now believe the superpower resides in the actual crown itself.

Then again, maybe I am obsessed with something that exists only in my mind (along with the multitude of voices). Perhaps the really good superpowers take longer to forge.

2009 is almost here. The year of the superpower. The year after 2008. The year of employment (I hope). The year before 2010. The year of 365.25 days. The year of the Ox (starting 1/26). The year I blog more. The year of 2 book releases. The year of the shiny new tooth.

As my 3-year old granddaughter would say "That's hilarious, Gran."

All I Want for Christmas is My New Front Tooth!

Monday started out as a terrible, horrible, no-good very bad day and ended much the same way when one of my front teeth BROKE off at the roots! It was a 15-year old crown that covered the stump-end of a root-canaled tooth so in the world of dentists and pain it was not a surprise departure.

In my world--it was trauma at level 10 (level 1 being a normal day, level 4 being without diet Coke and chocolate, etc.) I cried and laughed at the same time. My 17-year old daughter said, "You know you're a redneck when your teeth fall out at dinner." I had just commented on how tender the chicken was...I guess it wasn't tender enough!

Knowing that humor eventually prevails in my world, I took a self-portrait of my hillbilly state. (Caution: Disturbing image, proceed at your own risk.) My oldest daughter begged me to send it to her and I made her promise that it would not end up on her blog. She told me I should blog about it. I found I could not prounounce "f" words with my missing tooth. (I meant "Ferran", what did you think I meant?)

I went to the dentist the very next day and Dr. Vargo worked magic (he also performed some dental work). I entered his office a toothless old hag and exited 2 1/2 hours later an old hag.

Like a rapper with a shiny new tooth, I couldn't stop smiling!

So, for the price of less than a C-section and more than one of my sister-in-law's purebred puppies, I am the owner of a temporary tooth. The price includes a titanium post, a pretty porcelain crown crafted in the fires of the forge of a secret laboratory--and, I'm almost certain, will come with a SUPERPOWER!

I can't wait to find out what superpower I get!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just a quick post to express my thanks for something before I completely forget it...I'm thankful my memory isn't TOTALLY gone!

I promised to post the Having Hope cover blurb. Here it is. Click on it to enlarge and read it. When I read the blurb, I thought "Wow! Excellent blurb. It makes me want to read this book. Whoever wrote it actually read the book and hit the important points perfectly." I eagerly showed it to all who would take a minute to look and listen.

The following day, I pulled up the submission I sent with the manuscript. (Authors are requested to send in a suggestion for the back cover blurb.) The blurb I sent in for Finding Faith was pathethic! I was relieved when someone in marketing wrote a better one for me.

Anyway, I pulled up my blurb for Having Hope, hoping to compare the two and learn how I could improve my craft. To my surprise, as I read what I submitted, I realized that I WAS THE ONE WHO WROTE THE BACK COVER BLURB! Only two words were changed! Apparently the blurb-writer not only read the book, but actually wrote the book!

I must've written it in a moment of inspiration or amnesia or something...Who knew? I guess I'd better stop bragging about what a great blurb it is and start working on memory-building skills. You just have to laugh!

Having Hope Book Cover

I'm very excited to have the cover proof for Having Hope! I think it is practically perfect in every way (along with Mary Poppins). I'm posting it here and will get my personal computer geek (who also happens to be the love of my life) to help me update the home page of my website. I can't wait for March!

I hope you love it as much as I do. The folks at Cedar Fort do an excellent job on their book covers.

I read the cover blurb and was so excited...it made me want to read the book! I'll post that in the next couple of days. Stay tuned...