FACT: I don’t get an endorphin rush from working out.
FACT: The only time I run is when there is free Diet Coke to be had, or I’m taking a cleanse.
FACT: If you piled my subcutaneous fat into a big blob, you would have—me!
FACT: I love a good bargain.
FACT: My judgment has become increasingly iffy as I age.
RESULT: At a chamber of commerce dinner last Thursday I got caught up in the enthusiasm of the silent auction and became the proud owner of 6-weeks of BootcampwithJess at a substantial savings to yours truly—PT Ferran (PT stands for Physical Trainee).
This is how it begins, directly from their website:
“It all starts with your first week of bootcamp called "Hell Week". During this week, you will wear a 30 pound vest (representing the extra fat many overweight individuals are carrying around with them).”
FACT: I already have a more than fair representation of “the extra fat many overweight individuals are carrying around with them.” So can’t I be exempt from the 30-lb vest? (I know, the answer is “ten pushups” which is the punishment for any infraction of the rules, of which there are many.)
While initially thrilled with my bargain purchase, the elation changed to alarm when my EFSIL (exercise freak sister-in-law) and AENN (another exercise nut neighbor) both said, “You’ll hate it. It will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.”
My oldest daughter added to my fear when she said, “Mom, I’ll pray for you.”
One of the required items you must have is kneepads. I asked my sister-in-law “Why would I need kneepads?” She had no idea. My daughter suggested, “Because you’ll be on your knees begging for mercy so much.”
I’ll find out on Monday, from 5-6 pm what the knee pads are for. Stay tuned. If I live through “Hell Week” you can enjoy the journey vicariously. If I die, you’ll know the cause of death.
Props to me for either: 1) Starting a path down the road to fitness; or 2) Signing my own death warrant at a bargain price.
To be continued Monday night…if my fingers and arms still work.
