Sunday, January 24, 2010

Wasting away in iguanaville...

It seems that I have a lot in common with iguanas…

As I read in a recent newspaper article:

When temperatures drop, the iguanas, many up to 6 feet long, go into a stunned, catatonic state, stiffen and fall to the ground from tree branches and other perches.

This may be news in Florida and to iguanas, but I’ve had this happen to me several times…except for the perching in a tree branch part (although I am nearly 6 feet long if I lie on the ground—give or take 7 inches).

Just last Friday, as I was in a stunned, catatonic state at 6 a.m., I stiffened and fell to the ground dismounting from the treadmill. Dropped like a stupefied iguana hanging out in a frozen orange juice tree.

I rolled my ankle and caused not insignificant seismic activity.

Did reporters flock to report my plight? No (unless you count that seventh grader who gets email updates from the US Geological Survey doing a science project).

At least I was inside and didn’t risk actually freezing to death.

Don’t feel too badly about the iguanas. Apparently they were simply in a state of suspended animation and came back to life when they lay out in the sun. Once again, in amazing similarity to me.

There’s only one cure for it that I can see—Cancun. It is sure to cure what ails me. I’m thinking I’ll see some of my iguana buddies there. Adios.