Saturday, June 6, 2009

one foot, two foot, I got a new foot!

One day I woke up to find I had grown a foot overnight. Two of my feet were gargantuan and the third dangled uselessly from a flabby calf. A barrage of thoughts flooded my mind. What mystery was afoot? Did my feet make me look fat? Where could I score an extra shoe? Do three feet make a yard? Would I be charged extra for pedicures now?

Not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, I lay abed and pondered my situation. How would I handle life as a tri-pod? How would I know if I really was putting my best foot forward? Would my two huge, puffy, outside feet actually explode?

I wanted to put my foot down and take action, but realized that I would trip over my own feet if I tried to take a stand.

Like a pregnant woman with border-line toxemia whose photo-happy mother had shoved her aging foot in between my own swollen extremities, I labored to rid myself of the image of being a three-foot woman for the rest of my life.

I needed a nap, so I obliged myself.

Fortunately, when I awoke, I was no longer a fifteen-toed freak of nature. If it wasn’t for the highly-realistic photographic evidence, I would think I made the whole thing up.


Melissa said...

And now, the rest of the story......??
You clever girl you!

Trevor, Brianna, Alivia, and Tayvree Hansen said...

pretty weird, pretty weird, that's all i can say ;D