Tuesday, September 22, 2009

If your thoughts had a voice...

I waited in line behind a multi-earringed, amply-tatooed, young dad at the grocery store yesterday. Yes, it sounds judgmental and, yes, I was being that way. He had his little boy with him, who I guessed was about three or four. As the checker was slower than my son doing the dishes, and I’m nosier than your next-door neighbor, I listened in on the conversation. It went something like:

Dad (in kind gentle voice) “No, put that back.”

(child grabs at the ball)

Dad (still using nice tone) “No, we can’t buy it.”

(child hikes himself up on counter)

Dad (carefully tugging him off the counter) “It’s time to go.”

(child reluctantly following Dad, asking one more time)

Dad (kindly, but firmly taking his son’s hand) “Remember, we have soda pop at home?”

(child tries to get away mumbling unintelligibly) “I want blah blah blah”

Dad (still patient) “We have soda pop at home, from your party yesterday, remember?”

I was so impressed. This man exhibited more patience to his child than most mothers I’ve seen, including me. They moved slowly enough that I could hear this entire exchange and I was thinking this dad deserved some kind of Good Example award. Then the child spoke once more, clearly and loudly: “Dumbass.”

Hmmmmm. You don’t always hear what you expect.

At work today, I overheard an employee talking about the horse psychic she had seen and talked to. She was very happy about the news that the horse she wanted, wanted her too.

Horse psychics. Once again, I heard something I did not expect.

Hmmmmm. Since horses and donkeys (asses) are members of the same family, and both are technically “dumb,” I’m thinking that this horse psychic could have a whole new clientele if she hung out in grocery stores and listened in on people’s conversations like I do.

Of course, she would probably already know what they were thinking. Another upside is that people are more interested in their futures than horses are anyway, so there would be a bigger demand. Not to mention they might actually pay.


According to Wikipedia, “The wild ancestor of the donkey is the African Wild Ass.”

According to me, I may have just sighted the “Albertson Dumb Ass.”


CTW said...

I've always worried that someone might be able to hear my thoughts. It would not be a good thing. Fun post.

M-Cat said...

Great post!

Dumbass. My word of the day tomorrow.

Heather Justesen said...

You never know when your kids will repeat something you said!

T'resa Alzugaray said...

Horse psychic . . . love it. I think the lady paid the physic to say the horse said that so she could have the horse she wanted. I would do that. I need a gopher psychic. That would be really useful. Love the blog!

Trevor, Brianna, Alivia, and Tayvree Hansen said...

uh yeah, that picture says it allllllll :) haha!

Josi said...

LOL--that's funny! I think I want to become a horse psychic--how hard can it be? The Horse can't contradict you.