Sunday, July 11, 2010

Team Jacob or Team DJ?

Several teenage girls recently commented that my soon-to-turn-16 son looks like Jacob Black. You know--THE Jacob Black of Twilight fame.

I took it upon myself to do some research and provide comparisons.



Jacob has russet skin, black hair and dark eyes. (a)

DJ has black hair and dark eyes and eats russet potatoes. (b)

[Jacob] tends to wear only cut-off style jeans or shorts, since clothes are often ruined during his transformations into a wolf.

DJ tends to wear only basketball shorts, that are often ruined by paint, solvents, grease, grime, and food coloring during his transformations into an inventor—often combining things such as leaf blowers and swimming pools.

[Jacob] is descended from an ancient line of "shape-shifters" that assume wolf form.

DJ emerges daily from an ancient pile of laundry and debris that annually assumes “clean-room” form.

Jacob is also able to phase at will into a giant wolf

DJ is also able to phase at will into a human-like form with the appetite of a giant wolf.

[Jacob] forcibly kisses [Bella], much to her displeasure, and she reacts by punching him in the face - breaking her hand and not leaving a scratch on him.

DJ forcibly flexes his biceps, trying to break through velcro rope holders, and puts white duct tape on his legs to see if it is stronger than hair, and he reacts by yowling loudly as his friend removes the tape—and the hair grows back within days.

Coincendence???   You decide!

Other reasons to vote for Team DJ:

DJ can tie threads around snakes and take them for walks

DJ can fit a surgical glove over his entire head

DJ can make attractive bike trailers out of 2x4s, plywood, skateboard wheels, and his younger sister.

There are many, many other reasons to vote Team DJ, but time, space, and federal laws protecting children from their parents prohibit me from continuing at this time.

(a) All Jacob quotes were obtained from

(b) All DJ quotes were obtained from his mother


Candace E. Salima said...

I see the resemblance! :o)

Tristi Pinkston said...

Love it!

Vicki said...

That's so funny!

M-Cat said...

I'm afraid you have crossed the line by bringing Twilight into the family. Really? Good thing this piece is hysterical - I will thus forgive you. And for the record, since I refuse to pick a team, IF I WERE FORCED TO, then it would be team DJ.

Now let us never speak of Twilight again.

Danyelle Ferguson said...

Great post! A perfect combination of comparison to almighty Jacob, and just enough humiliation to keep DJ humble. =)

Terri Ferran said...

They may actually BE the same person. I swear I just walked by and heard DJ talking to himself in the mirror saying "I'm hotter than you"!

CTW said...

Love your sense of humor

Jewel's Gems said...

Totally Hilarious!

andrea said...

That's sooo funny! Thanks for the post. :-)

carriejeanlew said...

I vote Team DJ. I'm a loyal dam family member.